10/20/2012

Good for your everyday grooming needs.

If you're reading this, you're probably as excited about this product as I was, after reading all the glowing reviews of it. Unfortunately, I ignored the negative reviews, and now I wish I hadn't. Oh, let me tell you the ways that this product has disappointed me: -Numero uno: The GIANT gash in an incredibly sensitive area on my body, courtesy of using the shaving end. Who ARE these other reviewers who say that it's impossible to cut yourself with this product?! I was very, very careful with how I used the groomer. I went very slowly, followed the instructions, and did all the necessary prep. Even before I cut myself, I felt very uneasy having this groomer down there, and you might feel that way, too. My instincts told me that it was a bad idea to have something sharp, electric, and buzzing near my nads, and I should've listened, because my instincts were right. i figure that if I'm gay, and even I am unable to use a grooming product successfully, then there's no hope for all the straight guys out there, and the product's gotta be flawed. Plus, a nick or two I can understand, but seriously, my wound is definitely full-on gash status, people. Ouch. (And in case you're curious, I tried the shaver both wet and dry. Gash was courtesy of the wet shave, and I pinched and nicked myself a couple times when using it dry. I didn't notice much of a difference between the two styles. I was lucky I didn't cut myself with it dry, too.) -Two: The inefficiency of the shaver. Let me recreate for you what happened most of the time I used the shaver, when I wasn't busy getting a giant cut: 1) I see a couple of short hairs, all on their lonesome, begging to be shaved. 2) I try shaving the area. 3) Nothing happens. Hairs remain standing. 4) I try a different angle. 5) Nothing happens. 6) I try a different angle again. 7) Nothing happens. 8) I try the last possible angle available to me, short of bending the space-time continuum. 9) Nothing happens. The hairs are STILL there. 10) I sigh and give up. So let me get this straight: When I use this shaver, either it cuts so close that it makes a crater in my skin, or it's so far off that in FOUR different attempts it can't even shave two little hairs that a normal razor could easily pick off? So wait, what's the point of this thing? -Three: The trimmer is decent, but could be better. As opposed to the completely useless shaver, the trimmer did have some value. I was able to trim a lot of areas on my chest, back, and no-no zone that needed some tending. And it wasn't too much of a hassle. But I found, particularly in my groin area, that the trimmer didn't always work. There are some odd angles down there that make it hard to bring the trimmer across the skin. This isn't entirely the body groomer's fault, obviously, but I figure if the thing's job is to trim body hair (and we all know what specific region of body hair that most buyers are interested in trimming), then it better be designed in such a way as to make that a little simpler. It seems to me, though, that the trimmer head is a little too wide to be able to line up properly with areas in the groin. There's not always a lot of surface area to work with, and the designers of the product should have accommodated that circumstance better. 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